just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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