You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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