I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
