Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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