Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
