real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
