so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize