Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
