So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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