Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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