We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you would pick up someone in the library
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
