And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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