But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We had sex on a dog bed..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
