Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
