You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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