capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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