She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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