Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
