i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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