I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Never underestimate the power of titties
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