in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
