I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
