we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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