If i come over, it means nothing
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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