why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
