Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
