That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
