i'm lost and i look like a hooker
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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