FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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