Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
