So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
