Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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