i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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