Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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