im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
