she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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