He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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