It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
