While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
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so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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