i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
