can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
