just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
