he thought i was a dude.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have tasted many bathrooms
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
