I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
