Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just found puke in my bra..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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