In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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