I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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