Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
