Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
