Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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