i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
