i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
