I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
