shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude. I can hear the air.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
