...so i touched it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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