You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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