i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
