Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
