hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
