i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
