I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
