I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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