If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize