Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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